If you desire to get married and you are dating someone who keeps promising that it will happen, how long is too long to wait? I mean is there a point when you decide that you waited long enough? Do you ever consider that it really is “about him” and not “about you”?
One of my newest friends, let’s call her Cali Girl, has been in my life for about 5 years. I refer to her as new because all my friends prior to meeting her were from childhood, high school or first year of college. I love meeting new people, but it’s very hard for me to bring them into my life as a “friend”. I’ve been trying to be more open and thanks to a few ladies in the Blogosphere, I’m starting to make new friends. 🙂
Anyways, Cali Girl and I clicked and we’ve been friends for a few years now. Well, unbeknownst to me at the time our friendship was conceived, Cali Girl likes drama. Some might even say she craves it. AAGGHH!!! Drama? Around me? No, No, NO!! Ya girl TDJ avoids drama at all costs! So, anyway, Cali Girl and her man have been together for 10 years and they have a 5 year old son. They’ve been getting married “when the time is right” for 10 years. (In the interest of full disclosure, MJ and I started dating in high school and waited 10+ years to marry.) Now, I’ve met the man and I’m pretty sure that he’s pinch hitting for both teams.
Pause. Breathe. Read it again. Yes, Cali Girl’s boo is clearly bisexual. I suspected it based on many, many interactions, the confirmation of the bros at the beauty/barber shop that we all used to frequent, and independent confirmation from a male associate that called to share details on the new “friend” in his life. Da hell? CG’s boo is on the DL in DC?
Alrightee then. So, Cali Girl’s boo is definitely bisexual! Hmm, they’ve been together ten years. Does she know? Maybe she does. Does she care? Maybe she doesn’t. Should I be the one to break it to her? Where’s her sister? Her best friend from kindergarten? Why the hell don’t they see it? I gently hinted around it once and Cali Girl’s response was blank and difficult to interpret. However, her excitement bubbled through the phone this past Sunday when shared how excited she was that they were talking about getting married in 2012? What da hell? What are they organizing – the 2012 Olympics or a wedding/marriage? I guess hope springs eternal when you’re crazy in love. Or maybe she just feels like one of the last girls on earth.
Girl, this sounds like some Kim Porter/P. Diddy junk. Ugh!
Whether or not you should tell her that her guy is bi? Hmmm… Since you all have been friends for about 5 years, I’d say sit her down and tell her what you know. She might get mad and belligerent, but at least you are being a friend. I could see if you just met her last week and found this out about her dude, but you’ve know her for a while.
Getting married in 2012??? What the heck? That’s what? SIX years from now! Knock her up side her dayum head so she can think clearer!
Whew. This is something. There are a couple things here. Maybe she thinks she’s invested so much time she wants to see it through. Second, she probably knows and is ignoring it because she has invested so much time Someone has probabaly already told her he’s ghey and has no plans of marring her. But hope makes her ignore all of that and even what she knows deep down and cling to the idea of 2012. She may not be in a place to listen to you even if you do sit her down for a talk.
From the sit down that we had, I sensed that she knew. I could come out and say it point blank, but . . ..
As Hostess said, I don’t think she’s in a place to listen.
It’s funny how people equate “time” in the wrong ways. I think that time invested in a relationship that’s not worth keeping is a learning experience and time wasted.
Your friend needs a clue-maybe she knows and is looking the other way..Dam shame…2012?
tdj! you betta shut your mouth! no you didn’t say they’ve already been together TEN DAMN YEARS and they are TALKING about a wedding MAYBE taking place in 2012!!
(i’m covering up my eyes cause i know you didn’t type that!!) LOL
wow. AND he’s on the DL. see? this is what i’m talking about… i know CG is your friend; however, she’s giving women a bad name by settling for the sake of jus being able to say she has a man. (SMH)
well. i wish her all the best. 2012, huh? keep us posted.
Peace!
Now THAT was a blog full, lol. I wish I would say I was getting married and name a date more than 12 months in the future.
lol Just slap me!
Believe me, my jaw dropped when she told me 2012. *lol* I was so happy that we were on the phone and not together in person. I don’t think I could have kept a straight face!
HOT
DAMN
MESS
From a man’s perspective:
She needs to lose this… person (he is certainly not a man).
She knows she is just in denial.
Can we say Star Jones? Terry McMillan? Anyone, anyone?