Listen To Your Mother Baltimore – 4/26/14

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Listen To Your Mother Baltimore is about 1 month away!
Have you purchased your ticket yet?????????
Are you still unsure just “what” Listen To Your Mother “is”?  It’s a national series of original, live readings by members of the community, shared on local stages in 32 cities.  I spoke during the 2013 Listen To Your Mother DC show and felt strongly about producing a show in Baltimore for 2014 (and beyond).  If you’d like to see my performance, click HERE.

The show is an opportunity for a group of individuals to share their unique perspectives on motherhood – the good, the bad and the ugly.  In an effort to empower the community, 25% of the ticket proceeds will be donated to the House of Ruth Maryland, an agency committed to helping victims of domestic violence.

Click HERE for all the details on the show! If you are anywhere in the vicinity, come on out and support our efforts.

I’d love to hug ya!!







My Little Guy Turns 5

fivecandlesThere is a tiny part of me that can’t actually believe that LittleTDJ turns 5 years old today.  I’ve been accepting and rejecting this for the last couple of weeks.  Five years old.  A milestone of a birthday.  His birthday makes me reflect upon a time when MrTDJ and I didn’t think that we could have children.  It makes me smile and giggle about the shocking day that my doctor and I learned of LittleTDJ.  In less than an hour, a routine doctor’s appointment to discuss my inability to conceive turned into me seeing the first heartbeat of our already 14 week old baby.


My eyes water and my nose tingles at the memory of my husband rubbing my pregnant belly while we tossed around names that were horrible compound words using our first and middle names. My pregnancy was an amazing time.  I felt like the most beautiful woman on the planet and my husband reminded me daily that indeed I was.  We had so many ideas, dreams, fears and plans for the little boy we would bring to this world.  Our precious boy roared to life on January 13, 2009 at 11:03am.  The lyrics to a Yolanda Adam song pop into my head, “You’re my little darling child, seeing you makes me smile, God Bless the day he sent my little angel to me.”

And an angel he is. Our son has shared his light, his love and his laugh with everyone he has encountered for the last five years and it has been amazing and enlightening.  As a part of his autism spectrum disorder, there was a time were MrTDJ and I were worried that LittleTDJ would never speak.  Even typing that sentence makes me howl with laughter.  When MrTDJ passed away, our son was barely verbal. Today?  I don’t know where he gets the energy to talk as much as he does.  He is special is so many ways that I can’t describe because typing through tears is tough.

There is a part of me that remain angry that my husband is not here, but I continue to work thorugh those emotions.  Our baby boy is growing and thriving because of God’s grace and mercy.  He is sustained in ways that I didn’t think possible.  I hope and pray that my husband is smiling upon the beautifully complex child that we created.  Rest well MrTDJ because our son surely, surely carries you in every fiber of his being. Happy birthday my little prince!





Who Wants To Take The Stage?

Hey blog family!  I hope and pray that you all have been well.  A few things have been marinating in my head, so I’ll be sure to share on the blog soon.  Remember a few months ago when I told y’all about the live production that I was bringing to Baltimore??  I’m happy to announce that the Listen To Your Mother Baltimore show that I’m co-producing officially has a date and venue!!!!

We will be taking the stage on Saturday, April 26, 2014 at 6pm at the Harry & Jeanette Weinburg Auditorium on the campus of Mercy High School.  Tickets will go on sale soon.  I wrote a few thoughts over on the show’s local city blog.  Click here to read it and get all the audition details. 



My Heart and “The Best Man Holiday”

best man holiday

If you haven’t seen the movie “The Best Man Holiday”, you’ll need to stop reading now because this post contains spoilers.  Big ones.  And if you haven’t seen it, why not????  You should fix that ASAP!  If you’re not familiar with this film or part 1, “The Best Man”, click here to read a plot synopsis with spoilers.   For a review of the film without an spoilers, check out what Luvvie wrote here.

I had a hard time putting my thoughts to words regarding the movie but a photo search for a LittleTDJ school project helped.   As my thoughts came together, I was struck with the underlying thought that I’m an anomaly.   Something different, abnormal, peculiar, or not easily classified.   Such an anomaly that even my closest friends have trouble understanding me.  Allow me to come back to that point, but I need to share a few memories and observations first. [Read more...]

All I Need Is One Mic


My husband was the spontaneous one in our duo.  I was the consummate event planner, detail monger, plan B and plan C girl; a hazard and benefit to having worked in meetings and events for most of my adult life.  When MrTDJ would present one of his impulsive ideas (let’s go the park and ride the swings, or let’s stay in our PJ’s and watch horror movies all day), I’d do my best to toss my planner hat to the wind and ride his wave of exuberance.  Most of the time, I was able to join him in fun without thinking of the what ifs.  But, I can admit that there were many times when I simply could not suspend the part of my brain that processed exactly how many hours until work or until LittleTDJ finished his nap, and I’d dim his huge smile by explaining that we really should be doing laundry/cleaning/yard work, etc.  Over the years, I worked hard to balance my need for over planning to MrTDJ’s need to live in the moment.  It’s a lesson that he taught me during his short life and I’m forever grateful that I received it. [Read more...]

Daring to Dream Big

Charlie Brown Doc

In the world of blogging, I’m considered an old dog. My first post was 9 years ago on November 8, 2006. Sounds and seems like forever ago. Why did I start? Umm, the question really should be why not? I’d somehow stumbled upon reading blogs and after reading one too many aloud to MrTDJ, he suggested I start one. Hmm, me thinks that was a “hushing” tactic but I took his advice anyway.  [Read more...]

The Night of Our First Fall


It’s late, almost 4am, and I’m watching LittleTDJ sleep and I love that he can enjoy peaceful sleep from time to time.  He’s had trouble sleeping at night since MrTDJ passed away.  At the time of his passing, our son was 3.5 years old and he had about 50 words in his vocabulary.  Most of his speech was echolalia, meaning that he immediately (and involuntarily) repeated words and phrases that were directed at him.  There are moments when I’m unsure whether LittleTDJ’s memory is a blessing or a curse.  He has incredibly clear memories of his father.  He didn’t have the words for the moments during his father’s life, but now he does.  Over the last 2 months, his curiosity and frustration regarding his father’s disappearance has been building.  Things reached a fever pitch the other night and I lost my composure.  We cried it out together.

He fell asleep and I fell apart.  

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Show Me Some Click Love Please


Did anyone notice that big red button on the right hand side of the screen that says, “I’m a Nominee!!”?  No???  Yeah, guess I should have blogged about it.  I announced it on facebook.  Then voting started yesterday and again, I announced it on Facebook.  Um……..DUH MrsTDJ!!!   I gave myself a wicked eye roll for not announcing ON THE BLOG that THE BLOG had been nominated for a BLOG award.   Feel free to laugh.  I did.

Thank you to whom ever nominated my blog for a Black Weblog Award in the category of “Best Writing in a Blog”.  Wow.  Best Writing in a Blog?  Geez.  So, the ballots went live yesterday and I’m on it.  Yippee!!!  I’m super excited and super honest – I’d love to win!  This would be something that would really make ya girl smile.  I write for me, but I do hit the publish button.  I write because I need to get things out and I think that my voice should be heard.  A great writing instructor shared a quotation with me over the summer that resonated so deeply.  “The job of the writer is to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.”  Ah ha!  I believe that I’m working toward fulfilling my purpose.

I try not to ask you guys for too much, but I’m gonna surely ask for this.  I need your help to win this thing.  I need you to vote for me, once every 24 hours, between now and September 26 so that I can make the 2nd round of voting.  Then I’ll bug you again for your votes so that I can win the whole damn thing.  My category, Best Writing in a Blog, is allllllllllll the way at the bottom.  It’s actually the very last category.  Keep scrolling and you’ll find it.  Vote because I asked.  Vote because you can.  Vote because you like my writing.  Vote because you’re at the computer and it doesn’t take long.  Vote because you think I need a solo trip to Houston.   And if you are so inclined, you can forward this here to post to everyone you’ve ever met so they can vote too.  ***Too much????***



Strength For Yet Another Test

I had a friend recently ask me what I missed most about my husband.  That’s easy – everything.  No.  Wait.  Way too easy.  Stock answer.  And kind of a lie.  The more I thought about it, my list became so long that I started writing.  I appreciate those that read my rambling thoughts.  I wish I could say that I proofread the hell out of what I write here, but I don’t.  I heard once that when Jay Z goes into the studio to record, he lays down his vocals in just one take, no matter what flows out.  That’s the way I write.  Things come out in a frenzy, then I’ll add pics, font colors, etc but I rarely go back to make content edits. [Read more...]

Drumrolls Please



My inner circle knows me pretty well and I give them all the praise for their efforts.  As they say, I’m a hard nut to crack.  What you see if definitely what you get, but I’m really a bit of an extroverted introvert.  I’m an only child and I am very comfortable in my own company.  I have a great circle of diverse friends and I’ve been told it’s because I know how to be a friend.  One of my bestest buds, Nae from , “I Choose The Sun” came across the audition info for the Listen To Your Mother DC show in early February.  Knowing that this particular opportunity was all about timing and approach, she decided not to email me directly.  Nope, instead, she forwarded the information to a large list serv of which we are both members.  Yup, she was pushing in her gentle and subtle way.  She knew that I would reject the idea had she sent it to me directly.  Instead, I saw the email to the group, mulled it over for second, then said, “Why not?” before asking for an audition.  **smh**  Dang, I hate being predictable!

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