MrsTDJ.com

The Ghosts of Kittens Past

May 23, 2013 By mrstdj 4 Comments

My fear and loathing of felines has been well documented over the years. In case you haven’t read my tales of woe as they relate to those creepy critters, you should probably read about my earlier encounters. Things started HERE, and continued to get worse HERE, HERE and HERE. Last week I had an incident with a vicious tiger, but I’m not ready to talk about that yet since it’s still too fresh in my mind. Instead, let’s take a walk down memory lane, back to the time that I almost killed my little cousin because of a stalking jaguar cub.

Taking it all the way back to 1994, the parents and I had already moved “down south” to the DC metro area, but we missed NY desperately and made pilgrimages home as often as we could. Easter ’94 was spent on Long Island and that Sunday, we were over a relative’s house for a huge family dinner. As is often the case when my family gets together, the noise is at decibels high enough to be heard in space, the food delicious enough to be served to visiting Presidents for a pretty penny, and the chaos is overwhelming enough to make a circus performer run screaming in agony to escape our brand of crazy. I love my family and the older I get, the more I realize just how much of a rarity we are. I wouldn’t trade our kind of dysfunctionally close crazy for ANYTHING.

So, back to Easter. There were about 80 folks gathered at my aunt’s house and we were having a fantastic time. One staple of our family gatherings is a good game of rise and fly bid whist. I’ll go ahead and break that down so most of y’all don’t have to go ask Mr. Google. Simply put – Bid whist is a card game that is similar to spades, except the trump changes each hand depending on which player wins the bid. Rise and fly means that you play in teams of two, and after one team loses, they move out and another team moves in. [Read more...]

Filed Under: All About Me, Family Time, Feline Follies, Little MrTDJ

My “Listen to Your Mother Cast” Spotlight

April 12, 2013 By mrstdj 8 Comments

With less than a month until showtime, I still can’t believe that I’m really hitting the stage.

Whoa!! Kate, our fabulous producer, has been running cast spotlights twice a week on the Listen To Your Mother website. Today is my day peeps. Click on over there and check it out —–>Meet the DC Cast: MrsTDJ

Are you in the DC metro area? Do you have plans on Sunday, April 28 at 2pm? Come on over to Arlington, VA and attend our show! I am confident that you won’t be disappointed!! If you plan to come out, let me know.

Filed Under: All About Me, Out and About

Thank You Berry Berry Much

April 9, 2013 By mrstdj 12 Comments

My emotions have been bouncing into almost every category that exists – shock, curiosity, amazement, fear, sadness, delight, gluttony, ambivalence, anger and pain.

I’m just not sure how to respond to the package. Someone or a group of someones has been gracious and thoughtful for the last few months. My spirits dip very, very low on the 9th of each month. I wrote about it in this post, The Passing of the 9′s. I’ve been receiving packages, to my office, on the 9th of each month. Here is today’s package and note:

The notes have varied in exact wording, but the sentiment is always the same. Initially, I was shocked and curious. Mystery packages??? Anonymous cards??? Huh??? I have a certain panache for detective work, so I jumped into this puzzle with much enthusiasm. The originating company would give me no information, the shipping company wouldn’t give me any information, and the note itself said everything, yet nothing at all. ***deep sigh*** Hmm, I didn’t know what to think. A friend? A family member? A blog buddy? A STALKER?? ***Yes, yes, I rolled my eyes AT MY OWN DAMN SELF***

Then, I prayed over the berries, shared with my co-workers and delighted in all their goodness. And when I say goodness, I do mean good good goodness!! They were absolutely scrumptious!!

Then the next box came. And the next. And the next.

Each month, when the 9th arrived, so did a package.

Do they make me feel better? Worse? Indifferent? Honestly, I don’t know anymore. The 9th is a hard day for me. Do I love that others acknowledge the heaviness of the date? Absolutely. Do I hate that they remind me of the date? Absolutely. It’s scary to think that people will forget my husband and scarier still that many have already distanced themselves from me and my grief. Do I really want and need to be reminded that it is indeed the 9th? No! Yes!! No!! YES!!

I’m grateful that someone, or a group of someones, thinks so very highly of LittleTDJ and I. So highly in fact that they want to spend money on us monthly. I’ve sat and stewed over the mystery, as have my co-workers. I surely can’t figure out the identity of the sender and no one is stepping up to take credit (duh!! that’s why they sent it anonymously). Yet, I still feel as if I owe them a deep and sincere thank you.

So, to the person or persons out there sending me strawberries, Thank You. I have received them each month and regardless of how I feel when they arrive, I believe that I understand the honest and pure intention behind each package. I hope that you’ll understand the complexity of my emotions regarding them and not be offended by my honesty.

Filed Under: All About Me, Death of MrTDJ

Eat It or Jump It?

April 1, 2013 By mrstdj 30 Comments

This is a line from one of LittleTDJ’s favorite cartoons, Team Umizoomi. Briefly explained, the team of miniature superheros is given a mission each episode to help a child with a big “problem”. During this particular episode, the team is riding along on a train that is powered by bouncing shapes. Rectangles are good shapes that should be “eaten” because they will fuel the train and increase the speed. All other shapes should be “jumped” because they are bad for the train and should be avoided.

As I float along in this fuzzy existence of mine, I’m reminded that I have a daily choice. Life dealt me a devastating blow on June 9 when my husband passed away suddenly. Instantly the fabric of my life was ripped under me. From the moment when everything changed, I’ve had two choices – survive or crumble. Or as LittleTDJ might say, eat it or jump it. My definitions are a little more complex than the ones from Team Umizoomi though.

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Filed Under: All About Me, Death of MrTDJ

A Little Housecleaning

March 14, 2013 By mrstdj Leave a Comment

Hey folks pardon the dust for a few days as I spruce up my little piece of cyberspace. Soon, www.MrsTDJ.com will have a whole new look, so check me on or about 3/20/13.

Be sure to write/save/bookmark the correct url – www.MrsTDJ.com

See ya soon!!

Filed Under: General

Guess Who’s Coming to the Stage???

March 5, 2013 By mrstdj 10 Comments

The last time that I had the pleasure of stepping onto a stage, it was 1989 and I was the props manager for my school’s production of, “The Pirates of Penzance”. About a month ago, prompted by an email from my good girlfriend Nae over at I Choose the Sun, I threw caution to the wind and impulsively decided to audition for a play. Say what now? A play? Ya girl on a stage???

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Filed Under: General

Memories of Young Love

February 13, 2013 By mrstdj 16 Comments

On the eve of the love holiday, Valentine’s Day, I’ve been grinning and giggling with memories of my husband. We both enjoyed expressions of love and presents on random dates, and we really liked Valentine’s Day. Honestly, MrTDJ actually liked it more than I did, but just as I sought to make him LOVE his birthday, he set out to make me LOVE Valentine’s Day.

One early Valentine’s Day memory was in February 1994, a full 8 months before the slap heard round the world. I was away at school and this was my first foray into sneaking up the road to spend time with him. Hush, my parents found out years ago and since we got married, it’s a moot point. Two of my friends and I were traveling out of Charlottesville together, via an early, early morning train. Wouldn’t you know the night before our train, there was a snow and ice storm? ***sigh***

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Filed Under: Death of MrTDJ

A Moment of Reflection

December 31, 2012 By mrstdj 24 Comments

As I watch my friends and fellow bloggers reflect upon the end of the year, I have a sense of joy for all that is happening to others around me. There is a feature that keeps rolling across my Faceb.ook timeline called “Year in Review”. Seeing the year that my friends and family have had, makes me smile at their successes and achievements, while continuing to wish them well on the not so great moments.

For me, the year was defined by my husband’s death. Maybe in years to come 2012 will have an abundance of layered memories. But at this moment, the singular, overarching thought is simply that in 2012 my husband died. Oh there’s more of course. As a ripple to his death, my heart experienced blackness I didn’t know existed, my mind was pushed near the point of madness and my life changed course in the most unexpected of ways.

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Filed Under: All About Me, General

Peace of Mind and Tempered Expectations

December 4, 2012 By mrstdj 43 Comments

I received an email a few weeks ago from a reader and I was stunned into speechlessness. So stunned, that I didn’t reply because I couldn’t form the proper words. I shared the email with a friend over Thanksgiving and she insisted that I write about it here. It went as follows:

“Hi MrsTDJ, I’m a long time reader and I wanted to express my condolences on the death of your husband. From your stories, I kinda feel like I know him and you. All the best to you in the future. While I respect that this is your blog to write what you want, and I know you’re hurting, I’m curious as to when you think you’ll write some funny stories again. You used to keep me and my office rolling. It helped to pass the work day. Everything you’ve written lately has been a little sad. Take care.”

Really?????? A backazzed compliment????? Hey widow chick, sorry for your loss, but um, when can you start entertaining me again with funny stories??? Whoo saaaaaaaa!!! Anyway, that little diddy has prompted me to take a step in the direction of cleansing all the extraneous stuff from my mind and heart. [Read more...]

Filed Under: All About Me, Death of MrTDJ, Relationships

The Passing of the 9′s

November 9, 2012 By mrstdj 27 Comments

Funny how things take on a clarity that’s not apparent until you are in the midst of the situation. I gave myself way too much credit and I was overconfident about my ability to control my emotions. I made a conscious decision that I would not mourn the anniversary of my husband’s death. Nope, WOULD NOT DO IT. I told myself that it was foolish. Although June 9 changed everything, I didn’t want that date to paralyze me for eternity. Yeah, go ahead and shake your heads. “Denial” is more than just a long azz river in Egypt, right? Somehow I thought that I could actually control the dates upon which I felt the most pain. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. I was even so bold as to tell my therapist that I wasn’t counting the days since MrTDJ passed away. I’m a liar. A naïve, well-intentioned liar, but still a liar. Little did I know that I’d have not the teensiest bit of control and would be at the mercy of my calendar. I have not taken an actual calendar and marked off the days since his death, but my mental calendar is clicking and ticking. [Read more...]

Filed Under: All About Me, Death of MrTDJ, Relationships